Junkie Thinking

[Eva]

  just something fun to put up.....&& thank you for having me realize that i junkie think. i really, really need to stop junkie thinking. smoking

[weatherbellygirl]

My junkie thinking is overwhelming me. I have a million things that I need to do and all I can think about is smoking. I have not smoked now for fifteen hours and I want to say I am done and I know that I am done, but that voice in my head that will not be quite keeps telling me that I may need/want to smoke just a little more and maybe if I just pick the right time of day to smoke and maybe if I just smoke a little less today than I did yesterday than I wont want one as bad tomorrow. But right now, in this moment, i want nicotine much less than i would if I smoked another cigarette. Right now the addiction is calling to me and its voice is loud in my ear. But I know right now, right at this very moment, I have the upper hand because right now I am NOT smoking. I have slept since my last hit of nicotine and I have eaten and I have woken up and I have gotten something done. Not a lot, but something besides smoking. I hate this addiction. I hate the control it has over me and my emotions and my frame of mind. I hate the influence it has over my life and over everyone that depends on me and who cares about me. I am tired of not succeeding in this, almost succeeding but always falling just a little short. I am ready to be smoke free and through these first seventy-two hours. Once I get through that time, I know I can make it. I love my children and I don't want to age prematurely because of this addiction. I don't want my kids to grow up and think that smoking is normal because, I who am supposed to set their example for everything good as a grownup have shown them that smoking is safe. Why would their mother show them something that is not safe?!!Who smokes and really loves it? Who does? really anyone? Does anyone really love smelling like crap, looking like crap and feeling like crap because of this addiction... No the only thing that is enjoyable about smoking is putting yourself in nicotine withdrawal just to smoke to let yourself out of the withdrawal phase again temporarily. Please, I do hate smoking and this addiction so much. Yet it calls to me right now. Right now and right now. But right now I am stronger than this addiction because right now I am not smoking. Please G-d help me.
I hate this addiction, but I do love my children. Please let my love for them be stronger than my addiction. Please G-d help me.

[island]

I'm right there with you.  I understand the pull.  I was saying I was "basically" quit because I haven't bought pack and even got off the patch, but I was still bumming smokes and that was just enough to keep the withdrawal effects going.

Now I'm so sick of that cycle that I've declared a real quit date, today, July 1st, to stop even bumming the occasional smoke. 

I did like you did, a minimal amount of things.  I at least took a walk when I was feeling like I wanted to smoke.  And afterwards I took a nap so my body could have a rest and my mind too.

Tomorrow I have to take a final for an online course so I have to be more with it tomorrow.  I'm drinking lots of water, and I'll wait to have my coffee before I try to do the exam.  It should be okay then.

Thanks for reminding me of why we want to quit and how many hours of real withdrawal it takes to get through.  It's not much if you think of the years of smoking and what could happen if you do not quit. 

[DavidL]

My junkie thinking is overwhelming me. ..........
I hate this addiction, but I do love my children. Please let my love for them be stronger than my addiction. Please G-d help me.

Keep on keepin' on.

[Wayne Baker]

All things - good and bad - pass.  Sometimes it helps to keep this in mind.  Speaking of things, I saw a sign in a friend's house where we partied Saturday night.  It said, "The Best Things in Life Are Not Things".  I kind of liked that. 

[SteveS]

I like this mantra, you are free to use it... Easy Does It... but Do It.
This pertains to smoking too.

[elle]

Hi WBG, and welcome to AS3!  You can do this.  I had a voice in my head that I decided to call my "inner brat" because she acted like a six year old who just wanted what she wanted whenever she wanted it and didn't want to hear "no."  I had to work a lot with the inner brat in order to help her grow up a little.  She didn't grow up a whole lot, but enough to stop badgering me with temper tantrums every five minutes and start loving herself enough to realize that she no longer wanted to smoke.   

Whatever way your junkie thinking manifests itself, your goal is to see and recognize that and realize that the part of you that wants to live and defeat this addiction is stronger and smarter than that. 

Glad you are here! 

[denipink]

Weatherbellygirl, it took a lot of courage to write that post.

I smoked my last butt just a few short hours ago so i can honestly say that i know how you feel.

Hang on for dear life and never let go. Don't allow yourself to junk think. Tell your brain that smoking is no longer an option for you. Close that door once and for all. Don't leave the slightest room for junk thinking.

God bless you and keep you.
I am praying for you.
Denise

---
21:38 smoke-free, 35 cigs not smoked, $7.00 saved, 2:55 life saved

[bluebird21]

It's now pretty much day 2 of not smoking and i have been reading this EVERYTIME i have craved a cigarette and it's made today very bearable so thank you for this! I mean i have literally kept my computer up on this page yesterday and today!

[Wayne Baker]

Good for you Bonnie.  Keep reading and posting.  The early craves are the hardest ones.  After a few days, it eases somewhat and then gets better and better from there on out.  Just hang in tough these early days...you'll find its well worth your effort!

[denipink]

Bonnie, Do what ever you have to do to keep that all important quit! When you keep reading and posting you connect with the rest of the group. You can expect to get the cravings -- it is what you do with them that matters most. Don't give in to them. Don't give up what you have worked so  hard for. Guard your quit like a junk yard doggie The cravings will get less and less. 

Don't give up. Do this one day at a time -- even one moment at a time 

Here is a big hug just for YOU 

Denise

[Leon]

 

JUNKIE THINKING: "One puff won't hurt."

RESPONSE: "One puff will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social smoker. One puff and I'll be smoking compulsively again."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "I only want one."

RESPONSE: "I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 20-30 a day, every day. I want them all."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "I'll just be a social smoker."

RESPONSE: "I'm a chronic, compulsive smoker, and once I smoke one, I'll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social smokers can take it or leave it. That's not me!"

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now."

RESPONSE: "The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore. I'll be smoking again."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "I'll just stop again."

RESPONSE: "Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time. And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?"

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "If I slip, I'll keep trying."

RESPONSE: "If I think I can get away with one little 'slip' now I'll think I can get away with another little 'slip' later on. And the slipping will get stronger and the trying will get weaker."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "I need one to get me through this withdrawal."

RESPONSE: "Smoking will not get me through the discomfort of not smoking. It will only get me back to smoking. One puff stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "I miss smoking right now."

RESPONSE: "Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the chest pains right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional desire to smoke, than a smoker with a constant desire to quit."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "I really need to smoke now, I'm so upset (or depressed, or whatever)."

RESPONSE: "Smoking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset or depressed or whatever, I'll just be an upset/depressed smoker. I never have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not smoking."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "I'm bored."

RESPONSE: "Smoking is an 'activity' or 'something to do' only for smokers. I'm really not 'doing' anything when I smoke except still sitting/standing there. The rest of the world survives occasional boredom quite well without inhaling life-challenging chemicals."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "But they've been smoking on TV and in the movies for years! There are even magazines devoted to tobacco products!"

RESPONSE: "That's right. They were on TV for years; I wasn't. I'm still alive; many of them aren't, and they departed this vale of tears in prolonged and painful ways. And the smiling faces in the magazines now are risking painful and disfiguring surgery later, at which point they won't be smiling at all."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "Its so nice to go out for a 'breath of fresh air' and a cigarette."

RESPONSE: "Fresh air? I've got to be kidding. And face it, sunny days are one thing, but how many days do I huddle out in the rain with the rain hitting the cigarette and turning the cigarette paper that disgusting yellow color? How many times is it windy and it takes
forever to keep a match or lighter lit long enough to light the cigarette, and then how often does a gust of wind come up and blow the ashes into my eyes? And when it's icy outside, freezing my face off is bad enough, but when it defrosts, there's this bizarre yellow condensation around my nostrils. Now THAT'S attractive."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "Smoking makes work go faster."

RESPONSE: "Most jobs where you work indoors are in companies which ban smoking in the workplace. Some companies won't hire me if I smoke. And every time I stop for a smoke it actually prolongs my work, since I'm not busy accomplishing it."

**********

JUNKIE THINKING: "Let's face it. I am a smoker. I always will be."

RESPONSE: "The truth is that you're not a smoker. The only thing that smokes is the cigarette. You are the sucker though for falling for the belief that you cannot live without the habit of inhaling smoke. If everyone who believed at one time they were forever doomed to smoke [were, in fact, forever doomed] then places like AS3 would not exist."

[reposted here from the as3 archives, where it was collectively written]

 

[Harald]

In reply to you 'junkie thinking' post Leon...I nearly get sick by the idea that I checked them all of with earlier quits. All the self-debating, the case building in favor of smoking...it's just so terrible tiresome and draining...I'm sooo glad I finally acknowledged that I am not and never will be one of those incidental smokers.

Thanks for posting that. It's a great reminder of a place I don't want go back to.

And to Bonnie: you're in day three already! The worst is about to subside, you're doing great!

[mybuddy]

wow,  that was scary.   It was like hearing ,  myself.    Your post , is one.   I SHALL NEVER FORGET.   and there fore, one of the MOST HELPFUL

[sammy51]

was having a bit of a wobble--ty so so much for this--away to take dog out xx