AS3 Rants

A collection of rants from your fellow quitters. See what creativity can be brought to bear during times of stress?

Mother fucking ISP!!!  how the hell can it be a problem in my house that 
keeps me from getting on the internet?  I called once and the stupid bitch 
that answered said "Oh let me check your connection.........oh you are 
connected.....what is the problem?"  WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM?  My dial 
up internet would kick this fucking connections ass!  And could you please 
explain to me why the speed gets better at night, or in the rain, or even 
when it's cloudy as hell.  Oh my god I don't know what the hell I'm supposed 
to do here.  You know what really gets me pissed right the fuck off is this 
one "Could you unplug your modem and plug it back in?"  I asked them all why 
would that make any difference.......their answer "I don't know it just 
sometimes does."  Oh and then this one "How many computers do you have in 
the house?"  I have got three all networked together and going through my 
wireless router. "Well unplug them all except for one and try that."  STUPID 
ASS They are all turned off except for one.  "Well unplug your wireless 
router and plug it back in."  WHY?  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GOING TO DO? 
Honestly........ 

I think what I should do is when the tech support guy gets here I'll 
disable his truck.  Then when the bastard goes to leave he can ask me what 
could be the problem.  You know what I'm going to tell him....."Maybe try 
cycling the key ten times then tap the dash, turn the radio up and go blow 
in the tail pipe."  "Do you think that will help?  I know why don't you call 
me next week and I'll tell you I will maybe look into the problem the week 
after." 

What the Fuckitty-Fuck is going on in the company that they can charge me 
$68.00/month for a schizophrenic, bipolar, do what ever the fuck it wants 
connection?  Why the hell am I not calling every fucking day?  God damn 
PIRATES if you ask me.  It's enough to drive a person crazy-er I guess cause 
I have got to be barking mad to let them Fuck me over for week after week 
with not even a kiss or wink. 

  Anyway I feel a little bit better now and I think maybe you can see how 
crazy this ISP is making both me and Sarah.  The lack of communication is 
especially hard on Sarah cause she has formed strong connections with the 
lot of you.TTYL if the cock suckers will let me. 

Steve 
Steve and Sarah 
Seven months, three weeks, two days, 3 hours, 57 minutes and 39 seconds. 
5879 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,351.65. Life saved: 2 weeks, 6 days, 9 
hours, 55 minutes. 

As some of you may know I work as a server in  a restaurant. Today was 
Sunday,the busiest day of the week for restaurants. For the most part it 
went fine. 
Then THEY arrived. The customers of doom. It was a party of six. These 
motherfuckers ran my motherfucking legs the fuck off!!! I want this!!!! I 
want that!!! Get me this!!!! On and on and on like a fucking broken record. 
In particular ,this one nerve-racking bitch spawn of Satan. I was ready to 
stab that fucking bitch with a goddamn steak knife.Seriously this batfuck 
bitch was needier and more fucking demanding than any ten people.These 
greedy ratfucks ran up a ginourmous bill of about 75 bucks,hard to do with 
only six people in a family chain that doesnt serve alcohol.So these 
weaselfucks...I mean fine examples of humanity finally get the fuck up and 
go pay. I soon realized that it was taking a long time for their check to be 
closed out on the computer. What these skankass dickfucks did was go to the 
fucking register and bitch and complain about the fucking food being cold 
and the fish overcooked(it wasnt.and they did every damn thing but lick the 
fucking plates clean!!!) the lying mothefuckers claimed I didnt check back 
on them. EXCUSE ME, BROOMHILDA?! How the merry fuck can you say I didnt 
check back on your sorry fucking asses? Every cocksucking time I brought 
your ass more shit,you wanted more shit!!! You and your thieving, lying 
coniving ass family got more than your fair share of my attention,you filthy 
whore!!! So they got  a large amount of the food taken off the bill. NOT ONE 
MOTHERFUCKING DIME OF A TIP DID I GET FROM THESE FUCKING KNUCKLEDRAGGING 
BABOON FUCKING NEANDERTHALS!!! 
  I cheerfully got these people everything they wanted and busted my 
ass, meanwhile I also had OTHER tables to tend to as well. But these 
dishonest,selfcentered motherfuckers didnt care about all that. Guess they 
didnt have 75 dollars to pay,so they fucking had to lie!!!! I fucking 
gurarantee that they wouldnt have gave a fuck if I would have got in trouble 
for nothing or fired.Oh hell no!! I hoped their fucking engine blew 
up,leaving their triffling asses stranded for hours by the road in the 
heat!!! I definitely could have used the BDU for this bunch. 
 To add to the fucking fun and giggles, I had food sit in the fucking window 
dying while I was taking the order for the six. NOT ONE OF MY MOTHERFUCKING 
COWORKERS WOULD BE BOTHERED TO TAKE IT THE CUSTOMERS.I was pissed,and yeah I 
had a bit of a meltdown about it. We are suposed to run each others food,if 
that server is busy. I am constantly running other peoples trays for them. 
Unfortually there are far too many people at my job that wont run anyone 
else's food but their own.They will look at the ticket and if it isnt theirs 
thety will turn and walk the fuck away.Yes,these guests got upset cause 
their food took too long and the eggs were starting to look like shit from 
sitting under the heatlamp. I had a fucking fit!!! and swore I would not run 
anybody else food for them. 
But ya wanna know what? I didnt fucking smoke!!!! Hell it didnt occur to me 
to smoke. Ordinarly I would have hauled ass to the break room and busted the 
fuck out of my quit over shit like this!!! I think this time around it has 
started to sink in that there is NO  good excuse to smoke. no matter how 
stressed or how pissed  I get, smoking wont fix it!!! 
So on that note: 
One week, one day, 12 minutes and 45 seconds. 400 cigarettes not smoked, 
saving $37.24. Life saved: 1 day, 9 hours, 20 minutes. 

As promised here it is: 

First a rant against myself for fucking chickening out on quitting. Yes,I 
fucking chickened out!!!!! Can you believe that motherfucking shit!!!!!!!! 
Fuck me and refuck me and then for good measure,fuck me a third time for 
being such a fucking coward!!! But dont despair guys I will quit somehow 
someway. This nicomotherfucker dont want to fucking let go of my fucking 
ass.I think I set a quit date that was too far away. I know  now to set one 
that is closer. 

The second rant is against my motherfucking job. I hate working on Sundays 
in a restaurant!!! Hate it ,hate it hate it!!! Where the fuck are the blue 
laws  when you need the mothefuckers??? Fuck this shit of restaurants being 
open on Sundays!!!!!! All assfucks and dickheads congregate in fucking 
restaurants on Sundays.They fall into several groups,none of which I care 
for at all.
 
1.The after church crowd.This is perhaps the most delusional bunch of 
motherfuckers. See, I have a theory that they are under the impression that 
once they leave church,God cant see them morph into the biggest bunch of 
assholes and bitches ever born. Sorry folks, he can and you are gonna have 
some explaining to do at a later time. Please dont take this as a slam 
against all churchgoers and religious folk,as I do know some wonderful 
kindhearted ones. 

2. The crowd who stayed out late last nite getting shitfaced and decide to 
stumble their hungover asses out to eat for breakfast.Here's a little tip 
for these sorts: dont take it out on me because you couldnt find someone 
drunk and desparate enough to drag back to your house at closing time. If 
you werent so fucking ugly/skanky you might have gotten some. And for those 
lucky enough to have attracted some creature of the night, dont bring the 
motherfucker to my section to wait on. I am often tempted to call animal 
control to come pick up both your asses!!
 
3. Clueless parents- hey motherfuckers,you wanted kids,now act like it!! Shut 
the fuck up,and pay attention to your children. I am so fucking tired of 
having to dodge kids that are allowed to run like wild animals in here. This 
aint the fucking playground,goddamn it! Its a restuant! Those trays of 
food/coffee pots? That shit is gonna cause pain to the kid if it gets 
dropped on them. So pull your head out of your ass and keep your kids 
sitting.Yes I know you and the spouse want to shiver with delight as you 
rehash the details of last nights weekly fuck,and the kids dont need to be 
hearing about how many positions youi tried,but DAMN! Wait until you get 
home and send the kids out to play. The restaurant dont need the lawsuit and 
I dont need the guilt if I acctidently run your child over and hurt them. 

ok, thats about all I have for now. It was a stressful day,made worse by the 
persistant leg pains I keep having and the total lack of energy I have. I am 
calling the doctor and making an appoitment for a complete checkup. I plan 
to ask about determining exactly what damage I hav done as a result of 
smoking. Maybe that will be that last little bit of incentive to fucking 
quit once and for all. 

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.  I am so fucking pissed!  I have had it up to here with all 
the incompetent bureaucracy in the world and I am just about ready to move 
to fucking Mars. 

My mom is in the nursing home, right?  Cause she doesn't have a clue what 
planet she lives on and can't find the toilet without a map.  She has a 
decent income but the NH is so expensive that it has drained all of her 
resources and she has to apply to Medicaid to make up the difference. 
Applying for Medicaid involves producing reams of arcane paperwork on 
demand, only to have the welfare people demand more.They insist on seeing 
stuff that doesn't even fucking exist or they threaten to deny your claim! 
Mother fuckers! 

Anyway, after a god damn year, the obnoxious mother fucking welfare 
department has just closed my mother's claim because we have failed to 
produce the nonexistent paperwork and the assholes are demanding that we 
begin the process again and pay all the back amount due the NH for 12 
months!  I am so fucking tempted to just let them repossess my mother and 
try to find the paperwork that doesn't exist themselves.  FUCK THIS SHIT!  I 
think it is the goal of these assholes to drive us all insane! 

The problem is that I don't know when I will be calm enough to call these 
goddamn fucking asshole son of a bitch motherfucking morons to try to 
straighten this fucked up shit out!  I don't think it would be a good idea 
if I did it tonight, do you? 

Fuckity-fuck-fucking fuckadoodledoo!
 
Maude - creeping up on WWW 

Let me just say that this first day is sucking donkey dick. I feel 
like punching someone in the mother-fucking mouth and then kneeing 
them in the crotch just for the hell of it. 

I have been through this day one shit before and it's the same as I 
remember. That doesn't make it any easier and it sure doesn't make me 
feel any better. 

Note to my hubby: 
Goddammit I need a fucking break already! Back the fuck off and let me 
have some time to myself to breathe or else you better be ready for me 
to fucking bitch at you until *I* feel better! 

Note to kids: 
Mommy loves you but tonight is not the night to make her angry. 

Note to smoking friends: 
YOU are not fucking helping me by offering me a cigarette. I DON'T 
FUCKING  WANT ONE. THAT'S WHAT QUITTING MEANS, ASSHOLE. It doesn't 
mean that I am out and need to bum one off you. And no it is not okay 
for you to light up in front of me today. I am not ready to deal with 
that. Go the fuck outside. 

Dear Nicodemon: 
round one- FUCK YOU ! I WIN. 

*deep breath* 
Ahhhh. I feel a bit better now. 
Now I shall go to bed early and sleep away a few hours of desire. 

-Angie 

now its my turn to scream and yell. DAMMIT MY FUCKING LIFE RIGHT NOW 
SUCKS! 

I so fucking  have it. I so hate this fucking hotel and the fact that 
I still can't get home. I feel so unsafe so fucking alone. Somewhere i 
hear soemone flashing the fucking toilette and i jump thinking 
somewhere a venitle is opening and gas is leaking. in my dreams i say 
the fire comming towards me --- I am fucking dreaming of smoke so I 
don't even have to smoke. 

I saw my room fucking glass everywhere. my whole capet is destroyed. 
there goes my kingdom ---- life fucking sucks 

but yeah everyone tells me how fucking lucky i am that i am alive and 
one of my idiotic friends offered me a smoke today telling me that 
everyone would understand if i smoke, just one to calm me down. maybe 
so but dammit I can't have one not even one. NO NO I don't want a 
fucken smoke, not from my firiend not from anyone.. 

got two letter from a shit head lawyer suing my husband for the 
accidents tellining him the other party claims injuries and loos of 
income. how the fuck can those piss asses get injured in a standing 
vehicle. now we have to get a fucking lawyer too and make him rich. 

I don't even think those bitches of teenagers know what work is. damm 
i know i am so fucking unfair but i am just so pissed off. 

and this son of a bitch called ciggarette is not getting me. NO NO NO 
I don't smoke. no motherfucker gets me to smoke. 

so now its all out and I feel better -- sometimes bears need to curse 
too and don't behave lady like. 

PolarBear 
/me hopes no one is offended but she is really angry and ready to 
explode. 

Here I am...63...going on 64 (as of 1/4/2010).....collecting my fucking 
social security and retired military pay.  Still don't know what the fuck 
I want to be when (and if, which is doubtful) I grow up. 

Let's see...where was I ???   Think I was on quit number 666 last time 
around.  

Insightful dude posted here recently that there's a big difference 
between knowing I need to quit and actually wanting to quit. 

I've got the knowing part down pat.  Borderline diabetic (NO FUCKIN 
RESPONSE FROM YOU ELDON....PLEASE!!!), high blood pressure, and the fact 
that I'm in the death zone (someone else here mentioned that once).   

My wife is in Japan...she left a week ago this past Sunday.  I dropped 
her off at airport, went straight to church and did my choir thing.  Then 
I immediately bought a pack of ciggies and started puffing away.  Oh man, 
it felt good (although I know I'm actually deluding myself). 

Over two years ago, I had the drive and motivation to really quit.  I 
came on here like gangbusters (much the same as I did back in 1995).  Did 
some not so friendly bantering with good and not-so-good folks here...but 
managed to stay smober for over 1 year, 9 months.  Now.....DAMN IT....I 
can't get that drive and motivation back. 

I'm gonna do a quit again tomorrow - when my ciggies run out - only 
because my wife will be back this coming Sunday and I don't want to be 
going through withdrawal when she's here (I'm a real asshole when in 
withdrawal -if not at other times as well).  Being in Japan, she doesn't 
know about my "vacation" and I really don't want her to know.  Bless her 
heart...she actually loves me and worries about me. 

Okay...guess I should have titled this as a rant.  Or perhaps a "Becky 
Rant" in view of the shity language I've used here.  Maybe I'm drunk 
enough to just not give a flyin fuck.   

I will retitle this to add some caution though...just to be nice. 

You haven't heard the last of me yet. 

Wayne

My Sys Admins are a bunch of CUNTS!! The shitheads have blocked access to 
Google Groups AND easynet.com. Fucking BASTARDS! Now I can't even read your 
posts, let alone type my own at work. 
How about  MS OE newsreader? Fuck off, do not pass go, do not collect £200. 
TWATS have disabled that too. 
Try Silkquit chat? Same fucking shit. "Blocked by proxy". Wankers. 
MIRC? You've got to be fucking joking. 
So now I can only read and post at home, and I have to pay those money 
grabbing bastards from BT a fucking fortune for the pleasure. And have 10 
bloody metres of phone cable trailing down two fucking flights of stairs for 
every cunt to trip over and break my connection every 5 minutes. FUCKIT!! 
JUST FUCKING FUCK IT! 

And while I'm on the subject of CUNTS, Philip Morris, you 
shitforbrainswanker, join the club. If you were here now I'd RIP your head 
off and SHIT down your throat. I'd scoop out your eyeballs and SKULL . FUCK  .  YOU. 
Dickwad. Poisoning murderous bastard. 

Sir Walter fucking Raleigh. Jesus Fucking H. Christ. How the fuck did you 
get knighted for introducing us to an addictive poison? WHAT WERE YOU 
THINKING TWATHEAD???????? 

J.P. Satre? So you think that "Hell is spending eternity locked in a room 
with your friends" eh? Gimme a fucking break and go back to school. 

BASTARD CUNTS. The whole FUCKING lot of you. 
Burn in hell. And that's not a request, it's a statement. 

Alister, now relieved of  Two weeks, one day, 6 hours, 57 minutes and 21 
seconds of pent up anger. 

the past week in review...hell.

this is my busy season..no time to chat, no time to do much of anything
but work and handle work problems..oh wait..let's be corporately
correct..OPPORTUNITIES...no problems, only opportunities..god i hate
that word.

this is the worst holiday season i have ever had. there are too many
customers and not enough space or hours in the day and they all have to
have pictures NOW.

The week started kinda shaky, and i couldn't recover. There was the
interview with the FBI,trying to get off work to get my mom to a
doctor's appt ( she took a cab), my daughter telling me she won't be
home for christmas, Human Resources lost two of my people who finally
after two months said, "no pay, no play" and walked out. A third
changed her availability. 5 of us have bronchitis. three have the flu.
one has a sinus infection. one had to be rushed to the hospital with an
asthma attack. One lost it with a customer when she called him a 'white
Don King" because of his spiked hair.

Two i have to fire because they broke rule number one (no sex on the posing table).
I am just trying to avoid it till after xmas. The lab damaged some of my film in processing
and lost three sittings and of course, they are ones that cannot be
retaken cos the people were just here for thanksgiving and won't be
back till next year. OH and the FEDEX guy didn't even pick up the film
on Monday...8 rolls...435 sittings..and he made up some story that
a 'Cindy' told him that we were taking it to the drop box. We don't
have a Cindy working there. Now he gives me attitude when he picks up
stuff cos I got him in trouble. I didn't get him in trouble. He did it
himself.

The camera rooms do not have adequate circulation. That is one of the
reasons we are so sick. Kids cough and sneeze on you and we just pass
the germs back and forth in the tiny space. They get hot, over 100
degrees, the computers shortcircuit and then we are down. meanwhile,
people are waiting while we fix them. it is amazing how easy it is to
rewire a computer, talk on the phone and deal with a two year old
playing in your toolbox while his mom is yelling about the wait. and
dos is easy as long as someone is available to call to make sure u have
the right commands. there is a downside to knowing more than the tech
help tho. they don't like it and make u go back to square one even if u
have rebooted ten times already.

another studio had someone die and someone had to go there, and still
another had someone rushed to the hospital and we needed coverage
there. there were the split shifts to accomodate the requests. A boy
with tourette's who we had to take pics of at nine o'clock at night cos
he can't handle the crowds. A family where the father is dying of
cancer. The little boy with leukemia who i have been taking pictures of
for nine years now who won't be back in the spring. he gave me a
drawing he did to make me smile cos he said, "you always make me smile
and i wanted to make you smile once".

but it was saturday. it was the parrot.

i don't like birds. no good reason, really. They don't like me so I
don't like them. Maybe cos when i was in my early twenties one swooped
in my open car window, crapped on my jacket and flew out the other
side. Maybe cos i had one in my house around the same time and all it
did was bang into the windows. (learned to never have your windows TOO
clean after that one). Maybe cos everytime I am at someone's house and
their bird is out it dive bombs me. They sense my fear. maybe just too
much Hitchcock as a kid. Don't know. I just don't like wild birds
indoors.

So here comes the parrot. Oh we got some shots. But when the background
went to change, he got startled and it began. flapping and squawking. a
man with a newspaper started swatting at it. That didn't help. It half
flew, half hopped..out into the store and onto the NIKE t-shirt
display. Now this is early morning pet time..there are three dogs
there...they start barking and tugging at their leashes. One that had
been growling for the last ten minutes started snapping at the woman
who owned the bird who was standing there screaming "rocky, come back!"
She forgot to hold onto her terrier and off he went growling and
barking at the man with the newspaper and that friggin parrot. i think
chaos would describe that scene.

The parrot finally made its wayto.. yep. .u guessed it...my head. I just stood there...
frozen.. not moving...tears running down my face as i envisioned this bird pecking
into my brain with his hooked bill and pulling out the most important
bits of my gray matter. The woman's fiancee managed to get the bird and
another customer managed to catch the terrier, but i was left having to
explain to the store manager why there was a bird in the studio. we do
pets, but i have a rule..no birds. My being out of the studio for so
long put us an hour behind. So then we are doing one or two shots for
people who really deserved more. three people called out sick. one came
in, saw the crowd and collapsed behind the counter in a ball of tears.
Once she managed to get thru the throng, that is. Got her on her feet
and working but that took time and promises of a well-earned day
off.. mine.

Then there was the boy who told me that he was going to purposely fall
off the table cos he could get lots of money. I told him, without
missing a beat, that he couldn't now cos he had told me and so it
wouldn't work. He fell backwards anyway. His mom started whacking on
him. Over and over. I told her to stop it and she turned on me, telling
me to not tell her how to raise her kids. Then she told him to sit on
the table and "f***in smile". i threw her out. I came out of the camera
room to a phone call that the next person due in was running late. A
man butted up in line to get his finished portraits and this woman
starts screeching at him.

I looked around, and i just said, "f*** it. I quit".

I walked outside, bummed a cigarette from someone by the door, and
promptly set my coat on fire. How can i forget how to light a
cigarette? i ended up batting the coat out with my hand and throwing
the cigarette away. At least I didn't smoke..but I tried!!! I got in my
jeep and sat there shaking for at least twenty minutes before i felt
strong enough to drive home, where i laid on the sofa with my head
buried in a blanket and ignoring the ringing phone.

Today has been spent on the phone with my boss who can't really fix the
physical space problem. There is only so much room, and when it boils
down to it, that is the whole problem. I am used to the holiday crowds.
I am used to the nasty attitudes and am quite astute at knowing when to
give it back to them and when not to. The compliments and the thank
yous from people are not enough. I need air.

It was the parrot.

Had to be.

Set the mood for the day.

i have to go back tomorrow. I don't wanna.

anyone need a burnt out photographer?

:(
pix